Is your relationship stormy? Indifferent? One-sided? According to Pennsylvania psychologist, Dr. Michael S. Broder, these are the three types of troubled relationships. They account for the high divorce rate, as well as the much higher percentage of non-married relationships that end.

Stormy Relationship:

This type has plenty of passion, but it may not be the positive kind. Positive passion is a relationship at its best. Too much negative passion results in a great amount of anger and discomfort. At the extreme, these relationships can become abusive and even dangerous. A relationship with a lot of passion and little or no comfort can still be highly charged romantically and sexually. In some cases the most passionate sex actually occurs after the meanest and volatile arguments. The sad part is that the cause of the anger is never dealt with or resolved. Thus, the pattern can continue indefinitely.

Indifferent Relationship:

With this type, most—if not all—of the passion is missing. There can be a very comfortable living arrangement, but partners may have little feeling or sexual desire for each other. Sometimes partners simply grow apart without anger, or there can be as much anger as there is in the typical stormy relationship. The main difference is that there’s just not the tendency to argue or do battle with each other. This may be a result of the partners’ personality styles, or the absence of passion—including negative passion. Instead, the relationship merely begins to die a slow and quiet death. In other words, it may be brain alive but heart dead.

One-Sided Relationships:

In this type, one person usually puts out much more effort and energy to maintain and nurture the relationship than does the other. One partner can be quite content, having all the passion and comfort he or she needs. Yet the other partner feels somewhat to totally unfulfilled.

In all types of troubled relationships it is important to ask: “What is the potential for change?” If the answer is none, the next question to ask yourself is, “Is this where I still want to be?”

Adapted from Can Your Relationship Be Saved? How to Know Whether to Stay or Go by Dr. Michael S. Broder.