When you don’t like your spouse’s friends

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If you don’t like your significant other’s friends, it can add tension to your relationship. If you find you don’t get along with some – or all – of them, take a calm approach:

•  Get to know them better. Sometimes, first impressions are misleading. Try not to form a solid opinion of your partner’s friends until you’ve spent more time with them. You may start to like them if you form your own relationship with them.

•  Focus on behaviors, not people. Think about what the person has done that you are upset about. If they are doing something irresponsible or illegal, for instance, this should be discussed with your spouse. But, if you just don’t like their sense of humor or love of football, you may have to accept your differences.

•  Be open, but kind. You should be able to talk to your partner about things that are bothering you. Bring up specific behaviors of their friend that bother you and tell them why you are upset. Try not to insult your partner’s friend or accuse them. Together, with your partner, discuss ways to avoid future problems with the friend.


Focus on keeping your own relationship healthy, even when you must have tough conversations about their friends.


Friends are good for you

It feels good to talk to a friend and share a few laughs. But having friends may have more benefits than smiles and memories. Research has shown that a good network of support from friends may lower your risk of some health problems. Some evidence suggests that people who have social connections may be less likely to have a heart attack. In addition, people who give support to others can help lower their blood pressure.


Source: Current Opinion in Psychiatry. 2008;21(2):201-205.

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