Stress Management

Deal with Bullies

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Get help and stand up for yourself.

Bullying or being bullied is not a rite of passage. It’s not just kids being kids or a phase they’ll grow out of. For those who bully, it’s a way to be in control with the intent to cause harm to others. Being bullied can cause serious and lasting emotional damage, such as poor self-esteem, lack of motivation, alcoholism, and depression. And over and over, news shows have featured suicides due to being bullied.

Forms of bullying:

•  Verbal − Name-calling or teasing

•  Social − Spreading rumors, leaving people out on purpose, breaking up friendships

•  Physical − Hitting, punching, shoving, tripping

•  Cyber bullying − Using the Internet, mobile phones, or other technologies to harm others

Profile of the bully:

•  Overly concerned about his/her popularity

•  Likes to dominate or be in charge of others

•  Aggressive and/or impulsive

•  Hot-headed and easily frustrated

•  Doesn’t like rules

Profile of the bullied:

•  Doesn’t get along well with others

•  Has few or no friends

•  Has low self-esteem

•  Is depressed or anxious

Take quick action:

Most bullies and their victims will not come forward on their own. Parents, teachers, and other adults need to intervene. If you suspect your child is bullying or being bullied:

•  Talk to them without delay.

•  Get to know their friends and social networks. Pay attention to their online activities.

•  Talk with their teachers to find out how they interact with others in school.

•  Set and enforce rules about how digital technology can and cannot be used.

•  If you suspect your child is being bullied, report this through the appropriate steps – teachers, administrators, police, and the State School Department, as needed.

•  If your child is repeatedly sick, stressed, not sleeping, or having other problems because of bullying, contact a counselor or other health care professional.

Action Step

Set up a daily time to check in with your kids. Ask questions and listen to their responses. Allow them to share stories without judgment so they’ll know they can trust you in times of crisis.

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