Part 5: Strengthening Your Defense

•  Body Posture: Be relaxed and natural. Avoid slouching, putting your hands in your pockets, or facing away from the person you are speaking with.

•  Eye Contact: Good eye contact is vital to convey self-confidence and interest. Don’t stare at the other person—this comes across as a challenge.

•  Voice, Tone, and Quality: Use a strong, varied tone. Speak clearly and firmly. Don’t shout or speak too softly. Don’t whine.

•  Distance from the Person: Don’t position yourself too far or too close.

•  Facial Expression: Let your face convey the same message as what you are saying.

•  Content: Use short sentences. Be specific, clear, and firm.

Practice First

Plan or write down what you want to say. Have responses ready ahead of time to deal with questions and comments. Reinforce your remarks by saying what positive outcomes will occur for you and the other person. Practice in front of a mirror or with a friend.

Benefits of Being Assertive:

•  You can feel comfortable saying “no.”

•  You have more confidence to ask others for help.

•  You gain more respect from others.

•  You feel less angry with yourself and with others.

•  You feel justified to say what you want to say.

•  You feel comfortable requesting clarification.

•  You accept compliments graciously.

•  You can change your mind without feeling guilty.