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Good Grief
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Going through stages of loss is normal.
Grief is a deep sadness that results from a major or minor loss. It can last weeks, months, or years. Understanding the normal stages of grief, the passage of time, and self-care measures treat most cases of grief. Sometimes, counseling is needed.
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Shock: You feel dazed and numb.
Denial and searching:
You are in a state of disbelief. You ask, “Why did this happen?” or “Why didn’t I prevent this?” You look for ways to keep your loved one or the loss with you. You think you see or hear the deceased person. You begin to feel that the loss is real.
Suffering and disorganization:
You feel guilty, anxious, depressed, lonely, and afraid. You may place blame on everything and everyone. You may have headaches, constant fatigue, and/or shortness of breath. You withdraw from routine and social contacts.
Recovery and acceptance:
You start seeing a future instead of dwelling on the past. You adjust to the reality of the loss. You develop new relationships and a positive attitude.
Self-care:
• Eat regular meals. Do regular exercise.
• Express your emotions to family and friends. Be with others, especially during the holidays.
• Try not to make major life changes, such as moving during the first year of grieving.
• Join a bereavement support group. Read self-help books about dealing with grief and death.
• Adopt a pet.
Causes of grief:
• The death of a family member or friend
• A divorce or sending a child off to college
• A new or lost job. A promotion, demotion, or retirement.
• An illness, injury, or disability
• Moving to a new location or loss of property
Action Step
If grief keeps you from coping on a daily basis, triggers thoughts of suicide, or causes you to overuse medication or alcohol, seek professional help.
This website is not meant to substitute for expert medical advice or treatment. Follow your doctor’s or health care provider’s advice if it differs from what is given in this guide.
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