Listen to the words with which you choose to speak to yourself. Some of the words contribute to our distress. Our language communicates the amount of control we believe that we have with a person, place, or thing. Experts tell us that the less control we feel, the more distress we experience. Read the lists of phrases below. Put a check mark by the “Words of Distress” that you have used in the last 24 hours. Notice the feelings these words create. Read the list of “Words of Control” where each phrase has been reworded. Again, pay attention to the feelings that result from the words we choose.

Language that is rooted more in reality opens the opportunity for more control and less distress. Two psychologists named Salvatore Maddi and Suzanne Kobasa studied people who were less affected by stress. They concluded from their research that the way in which individuals respond to stress was the key to health. The results of testing showed that healthier people scored higher levels of commitment, challenge, and control. Practice using “Words of Control” to reduce the effects of distress.