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Codependent No More
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Don’t let somebody else’s problem become your own.
Causes of codependency:
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A person is more likely to become codependent if he or she:
• Puts other people’s wants and needs before his or her own
• Is afraid of being hurt or rejected
• Has low self-esteem
• Feels responsible for the other person’s addiction or behavior
– You did not Cause the other person’s problem.
– You can’t Control the other person
– You can’t Cure the problem.
• Don’t make excuses for the other person’s behaviors. Accept that he or she has a problem and needs to get professional help.
• Refuse to come to the other person’s aid. That means no more bailing them out of jail or giving them money for drugs or booze. If your loved one is a problem drinker contact Al-Anon and Alateen at 888.4AL-ANON (425.2666) or www.al-anon.org.
• Get help for verbal, physical and/or sexual abuse. Call the National Domestic Violence Hotline at 800-799-SAFE (7233).
• Take care of your own feelings, desires, and needs.
• Set and stick to limits on what you will and won’t do.
• Find diversions to keep you from obsessing on your loved one’s problem.
Get help.
Most codependents don’t think they have a problem. They see themselves as loving, caring people just trying to help. Counseling may be needed to help them regain a healthy life.
Action Step
Find a meeting for codependents from Co-Dependents Anonymous at 888.444.2359 or www.coda.org.
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